The Father's Mandate [Part 4] with Jonathon Block
Give Your Child the Freedom to Fail
To see a video on this part of the Father’s Mandate, click here.
“Give my children the freedom to fail.
Failure is the first step to success; it builds wisdom.
Children WILL fail; how will you respond?
Children don’t fear failing; they fear failing dad.”
What I think of this particular mandate (give your child the freedom to fail), many things come to mind, yet I will share one large aspect that impacts my parenting. That is allowing failure to be a teachable moment, and helping turn it into a growing moment.
I think of Thomas Edison and his invention of the lightbulb. He found hundreds of ways NOT to make a light bulb before he suceeded. Seeing failure as success in disguise, helps them get up and try again, whether it's rebuilding a block tower or a struggle as they try to grow tadpoles or breed rabbits (all real examples in our home/farm). Asking questions is key here; helping them think it through, rather than always giving the solution or protecting from a mistake.
Though the young child is not ready to underatand the concepts of gravity, center of mass, or inertia of a flying arm/block, they can be coached through repetition to understand wide based towers stand better.
When the tadpoles/rabbits die, using it as a moment to research with the child what might have been wrong or discuss how we could avoid it in the future.
With this mandate (as well as the rest) it is realizing that this moment is about teaching for the future, not fixing the present issue. Not protecting from failure or the emotions that follow, but rather allowing them these to be reachable moments.
Jonathon Block